MY TRESPASS (Story)

Temidire turned on her bed again and again.

"God please help me. It's Sunday again."

She sat up and pulled her knees to her chest and groaned inwardly.

"Why won't you forgive me please?" she questioned quietly.

"Temi! I hope you're dressed up already. We'll leave for church in ten minutes." her mum called from the living room.

Temi fell back on the bed and covered her face with the pillow.

'I can't do this. I really cannot do this.' she kept saying to herself.

The door of her room flew open.

"Temi!"

She removed the pillow and faced the door, her mother stood at the entrance with her arms folded together, watching her incredulously.

"Have you forgotten today is Sunday?"

Of course she hasn't forgotten.

'That today is Sunday is my dilemma. Again.'

"I can't see him again." she groaned out loud.

"Who?" her mother asked.

Temi's eyes widen, "It's nothing, mum. You can go ahead, I'll meet you in church."

Her mother watched her for sometime, then she shrugged and went out. Soon Temi heard the sound of the car leaving the compound.
She went into the bathroom to bathe, after which she dressed and tooked her Bible. Looking at the bible, she sat on her bed. The tears came rolling down. Temi could not hold it in any longer, she wailed loudly and wept bitterly.

Why did I allow my emotions to control me? She asked herself.

What she dreaded most for the past two Sundays was seeing Tunde again. After the unfortunate incident after the vigil she'd been having a hard time holding in her guilt.

Tunde was the pastor's son and a wild one at that. But how he was able to hide his wildness and present a very charming and cool personality was beyond Temi. She'd fallen for his lies and agreed to date him. Everyone had been happy for them, they thought they were a perfect match. But that night changed everything.

"Temi, I'm dying to be with you." he'd said after the vigil.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

He moved close to her and whispered in her ear, his breath caressing her cheek. Temi stared at him in shock, her palm covering her mouth so as not to let out the scream that lodged in her throat.

"That's a sin." she'd whispers back, harshly.

Immediately she said that, Tunde's face became firm. He dropped her hand unceremoniously and walked out. Temi was dumbfounded and scared. She didn't want to lose him, he was the man of her dreams.
She ran out after him. He was opening his car door when she called his name. His face was far from friendly as he looked back at her.

"Don't leave me, please." she pleaded when she got to him.

"I dislike girls acting the way you do. I mean, what's the sin in it? We're engaged, what law is against what I asked for." he sighed in frustration.

"Okay okay, I'll do it." she said quietly, afraid someone else might hear her.

He'd grinned, opened the door for her to get in the car with him after zoomed off to a nearby hotel.
He treated her like a queen that night but all his endearment did nothing to assuage the guilt she felt when it was over.
Tunde noticed this and was infuriated.

"Don't pin this on me, afterall it wasn't without your consent." he said coldly and began to dress.

She couldn't stop the tears as they fell from her eyes.

'I knew this was wrong and yet I did it', she kept saying to herself.

Tunde picked his car key and faced her, "Listen, we're done. It's over between us."

Temi stood up abruptly and blocked his exit.

"What are you saying, Tunde? After what we've done?"

"Look Temi, I detest guilt-freaks. Look at yourself, guilt is written all over you and I can't stand it." he pushed her from his way but turned when he reached the door, "And you're bad in bed. You just lie there like a log of wood, so boring. I couldn't have imagined a worse way to spend the night." he turned back to the door and opened.

"Tunde," she sobbed, "I have myself to you and you're leaving me like this? How could you even know if I was good in bed or not, it's not like you've been with any lady before."

At that, Tunde laughed so long she felt like a fool. He closed the door and walked back to her. Placing both hands on her shoulders, he looked her straight in the eye and said the words that tore her heart into pieces.

"You're not the first lady I've been with, Temi, and you certainly won't be the last."

The he turned away and swaggered out of the room.

***

Temi threw her bible on the floor, flung her shoes away and cried. No one knew the real reason they broke up. Tunde just said they weren't meant to be. Temi still couldn't fathom how the pastor did not know who his son really is.

Her phone rang, it was her mum calling.

"When will you get here, Temi? We're done with Sunday School already!" her mother said over the phone.

"I'm on my way, mum." She sniffed and dropped the phone.

It was another Sunday of her sitting alone in church, barely heading what the pastor was preaching as her eyes followed Tunde and then back at her fingers which she twisted, counting the seconds and wishing the service was over so she could go back home and into her room to sulk again.

As soon as the service ended, she picked her bag and stood up. Then she collided with a man's chest, almost falling back into the chair but he caught her in his arms and steadied her.
Temi looked up as was surprised to see it was Charles. On impulse, she threw herself at him and hugged him tightly.

"The only man I adore." she whispered to him, laughing and momentarily forgetting her pain.

"I doubt that."

She quirked a brow at him.

"Because if it's true, you won't look so gloomy." he smiled.

"Oh Charles, you have be no idea." she looked sober and fidgetted with her fingers.

"I knew something was wrong, even though you told me you were fine. I was watching you during the service."

"I didn't even know you were around."

"I'm sure you didn't." he paused. She looked so moody. The Temi he knew was very lively.

Both Temi and Charles had been very close before he left for his Masters Degree in another state. They stayed in contact always. There wasn't a day he didn't either call, text or chatted her up. She'd always been eager to hear from him each day until the sorry incident with Tunde. Charles was more than a friend to her. He was someone she look up to, he was a mentor and more like a brother. He was the one who told her about the love of God and led her in the salvation prayer. She hasn't been able to tell him what transpired between herself and Tunde because she felt she'd disappointed him.

Charles brushed the tears off with his thumb, she didn't realise she'd been crying.

"Let's talk tomorrow over lunch." he offered and she nodded, grateful he didn't insist she spill it all.

When they arrived home, she felt a little light hearted. Finally, she'll be able to open up to someone. Her mother noticed this change and commented. Temi only smiled and pecked her on the cheek.

***

The next day.

She sat across from Charles. They were in a restaurant for lunch, but she wasn't able to eat anything as the food couldn't get past the lump in her throat. She'd just told Charles everything but he'd said nothing so far.

"Won't you eat?" he finally said, signalling to her barely touched food while wolfing down his.

Temi shook her head. She couldn't eat. And why was he acting like he'd heard nothing of all she'd said. She watched him finish his food and drain the water in his cup. Then he sighed contentedly and leaned back in his chair.

"Wow, I needed that. I was so famished." he smiled brightly. "Why aren't you eating?"

"I feel bad." she replied, sadly.

"Hmm," he nodded. Then he placed his hands on the table between them and leaned towards her. "Why didn't you kill yourself?"

Temi was shocked, "What?!"

"A lot of girls in a similar situation would have thought to take their lives."

"The thought came to my mind." she said quietly.

"Then why didn't you do it? You could have left this world and freed yourself from the guilt you're feeling."

"And face God's wrath squarely and hell?" she shook her head, "No."

A smile slowly lit up his face, "I'm glad you didn't opt for suicide, Temi. I'm really glad you didn't. Even though some would have thought it to be a better option, it's just like jumping from the frying pan into the fire."

Temi nodded.

"You've confessed to God and ask for forgiveness, right?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you not free? Why do you still feel bad?"

She lifted her head and he saw the tears, "I knew I shouldn't have done it, I know it was bad yet I did it. How could I have seen sin and walked right into it."

"But you've asked for forgiveness, do you think God hasn't forgiven you?"

"I don't know."

"Well I know He has. Remember the word of God says he who confesses his sin will find mercy." he gave his handkerchief to her.

She collected it from him, "But I still feel bad." she cried quietly, "How could I feel bad if God has forgiven me?"

"Forgive yourself. It's true you did it even though you knew it was wrong, but stop punishing yourself. Stop condemning yourself when God doesn't condemn you. It's past now and you've confessed." he paused, "Look at me, Temi."

She sniffed and lifted her gaze to him.

"Do you know what Jesus would say?" he asked, smiling.

She shook her head, already feeling calm by his words.

"He'll say 'Your sins are forgiven, daughter. Go, and sin no more.' "

Temi smiled brightly, "Thank you, Charles. I feel so light." she smiled again.

"Now let me show you something," he opened his pocket Bible and gave it to her, "Check that verse I shaded."

Temi smiled as she read it. Then she looked up, "Thank You, Father, for forgiving me all my sins. Thank You for nailing it all to the cross."

He collected the Bible and opened another place, then he gave it back to her.

"Read that out." he said.

" 'Who then will condemn us? No one... ' "

"Stop there." he interrupted and arched a brow at her, "So Temi, who will condemn you?"

She smiled, "No one."

"Of course no one, not even you. Because Jesus died for you." he smiled and pinched her cheeks playfully.

Temi laughed.

"How do you feel now?"

"I feel right."

"And it's all because of Jesus. But don't base your faith on your feelings, Temi, but on the word of God." he said calmly.

"Thank you, Charles." she sighed happily, "I suddenly feel hungry." she laughed.

"Better eat."


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(Thanks for reading...)

Written by:   O-Lawal Esther
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BIBLE REFERENCE FOR THE STORY
1John 1:9,
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
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N.B: Please, this is not a life story. Any semblance it may have with any person or event is not intentional.
Thanks and God bless.
Love you but Christ Jesus loves the most!!


Picture source: Internet